Just thought I'd pop on for a second, it's been well over a month since I've jotted anything down and life seems to get away far to quick. As I sit here with baby boy sleeping, the kids at school for another 20 minutes, the sliding door cracked open and the cool breeze chilling my feet as it swooshes past me from the kitchen on through the living room out the front door, I listen to the birds chirping, the leaves blowing in the wind and just get lost in thought. I say thank you to our Heavenly Father, for without him, nothing would even matter. The beautiful little boy snoring away on my bed, my loud and sometimes obnoxious kids who will be barrelling through the door ready to run out into their back yard to play tether ball as soon as they get home, the green grass, the many trees in our yard, the blue jay I see sitting on our fence....none of it....It's all through the Lords blessings I can see, hear, and enjoy those things.
Yesterday, I had such a different perspective. I received some not so good news on what was supposed to be a oxygen study I did last week. What started out as a suggestion as an RX for oxygen for migraines, has turned into much more. The test has shown I stop breathing during my sleep, my heart is acting up and I need more than just oxygen for migraines....I went on the Internet and read up on "sleep apnea" and OMGoodness, I should never have done that....Of course I was scared to death. I don't want to die, I have kids, a husband, a niece, nephews, sisters, brothers, moms, dad, grandma...yada yada....you get it.....I can't go in my sleep.....plus, I am only going to be 40, sheesh, it's barely the new 30.....I am young....Yes, it scared me that bad. I was thinking it was like last night I was a goner!
I have to say, I love my fb family and friends, of course, like most, I shared this yesterday and had some of the most wonderful feedback, support and comments. I knew I wasn't alone, but what I didn't know is how common it really is. Not that it is glorified or anything. Far from it, but a few of my friends actually know how I feel and what I am experiencing. Not that I would wish anything on anyone, but I certainly am glad to know I am not alone and that there is hope and a way to feel better! I don't really care if I have to wear a mask, look scary, ugly or whatever, as long as I feel better. For a few years I have constantly been tired. Everyone around me, I know, gets sick of hearing it.....I can't help it, it's honestly how I feel. Now I know why...I don't sleep....at least not restful.....so there it is, one light at the end of a dark tunnel...an answer finally marked off that has taken so long to diagnose.....but, a diagnoses just the same!!
So, this morning I woke, feeling more positive. After all, I did see another day, hear my kids laughter again, see my sons smiling face and gap tooth grin, hear the birds chirping, the wind blowing and see how green our back yard is (and not to mention, how much yard work my husband has waiting for him this weekend! heeheehee).....Peace out...Have a blessed day!
