In 19 days, my baby girl will be turning 18. I sit and look at these beautiful pictures of her life wondering "where has time gone?" I remember this day like it was yesterday, after being in labor for 50 hours, feeling every stinking contraction, my water FINALLY broke. I was told by a friend to "wait" to go because they would make you lay in bed and be stuck...ha ha...hey, it was my 1st labor and delivery, I didn't know (now I'm a seasoned pro and no, they don't make you just lay there!)....I was pretty much a single mom at this point, however I did have the support of my family. So, I woke my sister up, who was staying with me, I walked up to the front house and told my grandma my water broke, with each step, sloshing and gushing, contractions coming faster and faster. Everyone scrambling like mad men to get me 5 minutes away to the hospital. I still laugh when I think of how my Grandma drove. She reminded me of a husband on a commercial. She ran the red light, flew over the bump in the road...It was kinda funny...but not when your contractions are a minute apart....So I am admitted into the hospital, my grandma had work so she had to drop me off...it's OK..lol..my sister shows up, she had called my mom, then my dad and mom2. I'm not sure if she called my 2 friends Crystal and Sarah or if I did, but they were there also. I screamed, begged for an epidural. I said things I seriously could be considered a mad woman for if I wasn't in labor! I told my parents to "F" off, I screamed at my sister not to touch me....I told the nurse get her "f''n" hands off me" and I said I didn't want to do this...My contractions weren't a minute apart, they were like as one was coming down, the next was starting....no epidural, it wasn't even 2 hours since my water broke...I had to push....I was scared to death....But I learned very quickly if I push with each contraction, the pain was "a bit" more manageable....
Ahhhh 2:22 am, on September 13, 1993...what was supposed to be my son, was my beautiful baby girls first breath. Yes, you read right. I was one of "those" cases of the ultrasound being wrong. My baby shower was primary colors, clothes were for a boy, even the car seat had dinosaurs on it...but I remember my mom blurting out "Oh my God, it's a girl" but as soon as I layed my eyes on my DAUGHTER, I forgot about all the boy stuff. All I could see was this little girl, this blessing I was being trusted with from our Father God. He trusted me enough to have the title of "MOM". I remember pictures being taken, flashes going off, the Dr. holding her up....and the most overwhelming feeling of LOVE I have ever felt in my life coming over me.
To watch this little bundle grow up has been more of a blessing than I could have ever thought possible. That overwhelming feeling I felt that first instant of seeing her beautiful face has grown so much more that it's not even describable! I know I have not been the perfect mom, as I know there is no such thing. I know many mistakes have been made, sometimes I was mean, sometimes I am strict, sometimes she down right hates me. But I do know that my love for my baby has never wavered, never changed. I would die to give life to her. It gets harder the older she gets, honestly. I want to keep her small, keep her my baby, keep her where I can control and monitor and watch her activities. But the time has come where she is turning 18 in just 19 days. A legal adult. Now, don't get me wrong, if she's in my home, she's pretty much turning another year older. She still has rules, still my baby and I will always give my opinion and hope she takes it into consideration. I just don't want her to "grow up" anymore. The last 18 years have been more than a few words can describe Brittany KayAnn. They have been a learning experience, they have given me the ability to feel a deep love that only a mother can feel, they have shown me the true definition of "blessing", they have given me strength when I felt weak, so that I can be here for you and your siblings! I love you my baby girl, you have given me joy, happiness and a deep love I will always cherish and you will always be my "Boogie" girl!
